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11-Feb-2015 13:21

You want to choose the right pet name, one that’s appropriate for the place your relationship is at. Read on for a field guide to relationship pet names.

Babe: The most common of all nicknames, babe is the great chameleon of the nickname world.

Baby should be cooed into an ear or giggled Spare your friends and family the secondhand embarrassment of imagining what your pillow talk sounds like and save this pet name for texts, sexts, Snapchats and knockin’ boots.

It’s alluring in its simplicity, with a timeless quality that makes it the best entree into pet names, if you’re shy of them. While babe may be what you use in moments of frustration or tenderness with your partner, it is also in the purview of the teetering whoo-girl at the club, wobbling across the dance floor in a short skirt and unfortunate wedges, bellowing, “Bbe, can you get me another vodka sodaaaaaa? The best rule of thumb when deploying this one is to think of how you would feel if you were on the receiving end. What if you’re sitting on the couch, watching reruns of “Bob’s Burgers,” and you’re hit with a craving for tikka masala from that pickup-only Indian restaurant that’s 10 blocks away? Baby: More intimate than babe, but less irritating than other options, “baby” is the kind of pet name that works best in the bedroom.

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It’s too intimate and not nearly as utilitatarian as a good pet name should be.

A pet name should roll off the tongue, second nature, no looking back.

What you decide to call your person in public or in private speaks volumes about your relationship, but there are so many to choose from, it’s hard to say what works and what doesn’t.

I used to call my ex-boyfriend “boo,” and was fine with it until one Christmas at his parents house, when I discovered that that was what his mother called him — suddenly, “boo” was weirdly inappropriate.

The more comfortable you get, the more likely you are to fall into established, cozy patterns.

Take the pet name, one of the more revealing aspects of your life together.

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