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02-Sep-2015 00:14

This is also the reason why so many women who put on “perfect” in the first 3-5 dates end up dumped for “no reason.” The actual reason is that they were forgettable.

Why would you join these dating sites if you had already seen and met some possible or potential future partners offline?

If you think that you can easily find your special someone offline then it is advisable that you try dating not via online or through the internet.

Internet dating is not bad and joining online dating sites is not bad either as long as you choose those sites that do not post very sexy pictures of women and men who are almost nude.

We put it on and out for public consumption as a protective mechanism. New clients will come to me wondering why: With every single one of these clients I ask “do you get raw on the first or second date? -He doesn’t deserve that type of emotional intimacy yet.

Because it’s the quirks, the overcame obstacles, the HUMANITY that make people truly lovable and allow others to deeply and authentically fall in love. But it’s “weakness,” or rather vulnerability, that they fall in love with. Still men and women continue to be lured in by these facades every single day, thinking they have found the unicorn- the perfect person who is fun and nice and adventurous and hot and loving and nurturing… They are “never” challenging or emotional or sad or angry or shut down or “normal”…

With both of my divorces I took nothing and got nothing… What I did unknowingly do, however, was put on a façade of “perfect,” one that made men drop to their knee thinking they had so easily found the “ideal woman.” Because that’s what I was putting out and putting on. And my saying all of this to you is by no means an attempt to show off. We had deep conversations during which almost every guy revealed secrets that they “oh my God, I’ve never felt comfortable enough to tell anyone that before…” I loved making my man happy and creating an environment of safety and trust within which he could be wholly himself. You are also not allowing yourself to be truly loved. I was playing by “the rules” of dating and relationship engagement. They just, in the end, were not good for me at the time. I knew what to do and how to act in order to turn guys on. I had learned to withhold my dirty “truths,” my weakness, my fears, my failures, my shame. So Screw the Rules, drop the façade, enough with the manipulative games.

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