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07-Sep-2015 10:33

Fifth date: First Base, because by that time, ladies, you will be so hot a cold shower couldn’t cool your desires! You can’t just drop that you met JC in 1975 and not give us any details! Is it OK that once, in college, I did that thing that cannot be mentioned? Now, if his “Ninja Sword” is a nick name for something a little more personal, you should be willing to let it slide as long as it lives up to the hype!We present you, the weirdest, creepiest or most batshit insane Russian dating profiles on the internet.Unfortunately it is free and there is absolutely no screening done from the site itself, which helps explain how some guys would think these pictures are going to make a woman sigh and run into their arms… Nothing says “I’m a laugh a minute” like preparing for death! HOWEVER, under NO circumstances should if be brought out in public, especially to members of the opposite sex. Every guy has some interest that is a little geeky.

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This lady thinks that a pair of rubber gloves make a seductive accessory (left) and (right) a swordsman displays his softer side, and an array of weaponry, in an attempt to woo an impressed other half This Russian gentleman (left) hopes that showing how flexible he is in a children's playground will make a potential partner swoon.

The goofball technicians at Team Jimmy Joe have scoured the planet to bring you the best of the worst sexy profile pic fails.