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17-Dec-2015 10:23

'Do you think God is punishing me for having sex with a man 20 years younger than me?' This was the question I asked a close friend when I was about to file for bankruptcy back in 2011.One fascinating aspect of my work as a couples/ family therapist is that it gives me an intimate view into the current cultural dynamics of couples.For the last twenty or so years, over half the couples I see contain the "nice guy" with his frustrated wife.

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Yom Kippur, the Jewish holiday of repentance, had barely been over for 14 hours and I was already fighting with my husband. Over our poached kale and egg salads with a side of chickpeas I notice my firecracker friend is uncharacteristically glum.Has my Teflon-coated mind not retained a single shred of serenity? When Peter died, the only thing that kept me sane was writing about grief. I recognized that by spewing out my emotions with honesty, I was helping others which meant it was work that made me satisfied.I was 55-years-old, and yet my Christian upbringing still had a stranglehold on my sexuality.Recent conversations with Millennials and 30-somethings have made me feel even better about my age and lucky to have spent my Millennial dating years pre-internet, well before the current awfulness of online 'hooking-up'.

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